Mother-In-Law – How To Communicate and Set Boundaries
This topic is something that is never shared publicly. Usually, I keep issues regarding this to myself or share concerns with my most trusted friend or family member. The truth is grandparents are a treasure for our kids, as they are to them. It is important to learn how to communicate with our mother in law and set the right boundaries. Think about it; their baby just had a baby themselves, and I cannot imagine how exciting it is for them to experience the newborn phase all over again. I respect that completely. However, there is a fine line and boundaries that should be set in place to be respectful for new moms and dads, and it boils down to communication.
We need to learn how to communicate with our mother-in-law because what can often happen is they (either purposefully or accidentally) don’t respect us as new parents. They think they have all the experience in the world because they have raised a child before. And even if they do have advice, this is still your baby, you are the parent, and you know what is best for them. Be open to support and suggestions from them, but don’t let them dictate how you should raise your child. Only you know how to do that, and they need to understand that as well.
Of course, the success of setting boundaries through communication depends on so many factors. For example, your personality, your mother-in-law’s character, and, most importantly, your partner. Why? Because most of the time, we need to ask them to speak with their mother to avoid conflicts. So, *drumroll please* these are my tips.
- Don’t be direct. As much as this goes against my personality, I choose to talk with my husband and ask him to speak with his mom. Did this work? A little bit, but it was better than nothing and should be your first step in the right direction.
- Another option is to show her how you would like things to be done. Be calm and relaxed, and tell her with a smile what you want to do with your baby.
- The last option is to fight, but come on, is it something you really want to do? Of course, this is not a suggestion but a reality that can often happen. When you feel overwhelmed and ready to fight, think about your kids and how important the grandparent’s role is in their lives. Go out and live the kids to your mother-in-law. Have fun somewhere or book anything that makes you relax. Another alternative is to call your best friend. Believe me; it can help.
I know you love your mother-in-law, even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything. They are a big part of your life, especially your baby’s life, and they should be involved any chance they can. But there are limits, and that is where communication comes into play. Overall, you are not alone if you are struggling to set healthy boundaries. But always remember you are the mom here, and no one can ever change that. So, breathe, enjoy the most out of it, and work out a favorable family balance that makes everyone happy. It might take some time, but by following the tips above, you will get there eventually and form a wonderful family dynamic that your little one can thrive in.
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